A Visit to the (Target) Slammer

TAP OUT NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ME RAMBLING.

Photo Credit: Me at Target

Target is my jam. As I live and breathe a place has never been so “targeted” to give me all the things I want/need to buy – besides McDonalds. I spend a minimum of 2 hours there, usually in the swimwear section, because I think it’s rational to have 18 bathing suits for the four days I’m allowed in the sun all year.

Last night, after 3 weeks of begging from my roommate, Doyle, I caved. We were on our merry way to the happiest place in the Bronx! What could go wrong?! Clothes, shoes, duvet covers, $2.17 cheese (real cheese!!), the excitement was overbearing but Doyle and I had a plan: “Let’s exchange our bikini tops and beeline to the produce section!”

Upon entry to my local Target, I noticed the return/exchange area had a long line so we decided to forgo the exchanging for another day and I then proceeded to run to the swimwear section to pick 4 additional tops that I did not need. Doyle shuffled through her bag to make sure the top she brought with her was indeed the same one she was about to re-purchase in a smaller size. I fear this was where it all went wrong.

Fast forward two hours and $250 worth of merchandise later, she and I started our way out of the store with my blue grandma cart and 4 huge bags --- an outstretched female arm stopped me:
“Ma’am, can I please see your receipt?,” said Lady

“Of course!” (this is normal in this particular store)

Enter older gentleman, “Miss, do you have anything in your bag?”

“...Um yeah? OH!...Yes, I have a top that I purchased last weekend…”

Doyle & I were escorted into a private room, Targetjail, and accompanied by a NYPD officer and who I assume were three Target security people. Obviously, this was a misunderstanding so there was nothing to fret. We explained that we had come to exchange items for which did not have receipts for but were running late so had decided to come back another day. I told them if they ran our cards they would see that the items were previously purchased.

My request went unheeded as they scrambled through our purses and all the crap we purchased. No big deal, mistakes happen, I thought. I didn’t really care that they were wasting our time because the pleasure of being right seemed good enough at the moment. Fifteen minutes in, I start thinking about the Chicken Parm in the grocery bag that might be going bad and I got a little angry. I explained to one of the dudes that my mom was an employee at the store (one of their best-selling beauty reps might I add!) and I don’t think it would be wise for me to Winona Rydering from her workplace.

That got his attention for all of 45 seconds, and then he went back to ignoring me. Doyle went on a rampage for a couple of minutes, “UM, I am employed, I have a job, I can afford a $14 bikini top. You’re offending me. I’m a grown adult and you are separating me from my friend!”

I sat on the other end of Targetjail, lightly sniffing my pocketsized VaporRub to ease my nerves. I repeatedly told them to run our cards, asked them what was going on to which they responded, annoyed: “One minute.” That went on for another 15 minutes, and they FINALLY checked our cards and discovered we were not thieves. Just Kidding… they decided it’s possible we might not have come in the store with said tops.. you know, because maybe we bought the tops – hid them in the store – and came back to steal them another day.

I mean, I really can’t go on.... Point is they let us go with a light, "You can leave now." No apology.

I went on a Twitter rampage and Target graciously apologized for their employees' rudeness - for which I am grateful because as frugal as I might be - my pride would have definitely kept me from going back. 

- Penny

This was all quite $$

Mossimo Top $16.00 & life lesson teacher

Xhiliration Top - $14.00